The History of "My Teams Stink" Part II: The New York Metropolitans

I have no distinct memories of how I became a Mets fan like I did with the Bengals. I’m pretty confident it involved Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry to some extent. You see, I had a serious drug habit throughout elementary school, so I could really relate to Doc and Darryl. Actually, I have no idea why I latched on to the Mets, other than being of the belief that they were a successful organiztion with some popular players. I also felt an unspeakable magnetism to Howard Johnson’s beard. The Mets were coming off winning the World Series in ’86 (a big deal to any 5 year old) and went to the NLCS in '88 so I imagine that I had little difficulty deducing with my child brain that they were pretty good.

Coincidentally, the Mets much like the Bengals proceeded to suck for virtually all of an era that historians refer to as “the 90’s”. A note to all you readers (reader?) out there: If your children are going to pick their favorite team based on current success, please try to make sure that the team they are choosing is not on the tale end of a successful run – or comprised largely of criminals. (Read: tell your kids to stop rooting for the Cavs. Immediately.)

The fact that I am both a Bengals and Mets fan not only got me laughed at during the previously posted Copper Hog episode, it also had people guffawing at my expense in middle school. In 7th grade, one of my classes had a “Getting to Know You” exercise that resulted in me sharing the appreciation I had for my beloved orange clad heroes. Hilarity ensued. 7th graders can be so cruel sometimes. 1993 was a bad time to let everyone know that you were a Bengals and Mets fan, especially to a bunch of pubescent jerks.

The similarities to the Bengals did not stop merely at sucking. The Mets’ lack of success on the field was also compounded by a litany of embarrassing off the field gaffes. Vince Coleman threw a lit firecracker into a crowd of autograph seeking fans mere months after injuring Dwight Gooden while swinging a golf club in the clubhouse. In his defense the multiple uses of "clubhouse" obviously created a misunderstanding. Doc and Darryl became the poster children for Major League Baseball. Unfortunately their posters of choice came in the form of mug shots. Rickey Henderson and Bobby Bonilla found more interest in a card game than a playoff game. It was about the early 90's Mets that the book "The Worst Team Money Could Buy" was written. So there's that. On a side note, I'm terribly disappointed that I can't find the clip of Bobby Bo's "We just chillin" incident that the book caused.

The Mets have had some competitive teams in recent years. While I was in college, they went to the Series, but fell short against the Yankees in the Subway Series. The words "epic collapse" are pretty commonly associated to varying degrees with the 2006-2009 seasons, which is unfortunate. This season "that other New York baseball team" is most likely somewhere between mediocre and not too bad. On the bright side, they are exceeding expectations.

Through it all, I continue to root for them. I'm just like Jerry Seinfeld, except I'm neither famous nor rich and I think that the guy who hosts "The Marriage Ref" is awful.

Let's go Mets.